Welcome to ‘eyb, my newsletter in which I write frankly about topics that growing up as a young Arab woman I would be told by others not to talk about, because according to them they are ‘eyb or shameful. I also share my crazy life anecdotes and my writing, as well as reading, viewing, and listening recommendations.
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A little over a year ago I wrote a piece called “Between a rock and a hard place” where I spoke of my heartbreak and worry for my Afghan brothers and sisters as the Taliban seized control of their country, but my disdain at the lens through which it was being reported on by Western media.
And I find myself feeling the same sentiments again at the moment, when it comes to the current discourse around the World Cup in Qatar. Never have I seen so much debate, and everybody seems to have an opinion. Over the past several months I have also been contacted by many Western media outlets who are suddenly interested in writing about my trauma, when no such interest was expressed before. I have spoken and collaborated with only a few - journalists who I already know personally, and feminist platforms…but the Daily Mail, The Sun, and The Telegraph, the same outlets who have been churning out Islamophobic and xenophobic content for decades? No, thank you.
It’s one of those “between a rock and hard place” situations again because there are many things that happen in Qatar that are human rights injustices - there’s no two ways about it - there are injustices that I have experienced first-hand, others that I have witnessed, and many experiences that have been shared with me by others who have lived there/continue to live there - the reports about the lack of freedom of speech, press, and assembly, the guardianship system, persecution of the LGBTQ+ community, modern slavery, and dire conditions for migrant labourers are all true.
However, Western media outlets have gone into absolute overdrive with their reporting on Qatar, with factually incorrect headlines, captions, and statements, such as not being able to hold your husband’s hand in public or Qataris not being accustomed to seeing women in Western dress, stereotypical and Orientalist assumptions about life in Qatar that journalists have conjured and decided are fact. It has reached a point where it is as if Western journalists are hunting for anything that they can turn into a damning headline.
In response, Qatar has said this criticism is racist, Orientalist, and Islamophobic, and that the West is simply not happy with the fact that a Muslim and Arab nation is hosting the World Cup - both statements are true, but this does not make Qatar the victim, nor does it absolve it of the human rights abuses that take place there.
Yet, no other World Cup host nation has faced as much scrutiny as Qatar. The outcry wasn’t as loud when Russia hosted the World Cup in 2018, and Russia has an abysmal human rights record. No one boycotted Russia when it annexed the Crimea in 2014 or aided Bashar Al-Assad in decimating his own country. And will British news outlets be scrutinizing the next host country - the USA - in the lead up to the next World Cup in 2026, a country that has overturned the right for women to have access to safe abortions and whose police force routinely kills Black people. According to Al Jazeera, at least 7,800 Black people were killed by the police in America between 2014 and 2020.
The hypocrisy for me - and many others - comes in the form of the virtue-signalling and tokenistic gestures by the West - in particular Britain, France and Germany - in telling other countries off while having long-standing histories of fascism, colonialism, imperialism, and racism themselves. The West displays an attitude of being the upholders of justice, while each country in the West has its own social injustices.
Fascism is on the rise in Europe again, and here in the UK we have a police force that not only uses brute force against women and Black people but is riddled with sex offenders. We are going through a cost-of-living crisis with large portions of the population going cold and hungry because they can’t afford to turn the heating on or to buy food, and asylum seekers are sleeping on cardboard boxes and being given cold hot dogs to eat in processing centres. Politicians want to deport refugees to Rwanda, and journalists who are trying to cover protests are getting arrested - where has our freedom of press gone? It’s no wonder that people in Qatar are telling the West, “Who are you to criticize us?”
But again, while the double standards are very real - and the hypocrisy is blatant - it is not a tit-for-tat game. “But your country has human rights abuses too,” does not make it any better.
Tensions have been high on Twitter - the main social media platform I use - so much so that many people - those living in Qatar and those defending Qatar - have been calling others that are sharing genuine experiences of injustice in Qatar, liars. For this reason, I have been careful not to really speak actively on social media about my past experiences in Qatar while the World Cup is going on. Both in Qatar and in the wider Gulf region, there is a next level of nationalism, in which defending one’s nation is a very personal thing, but it sometimes reaches a point where people genuinely think their rulers and governments can do no wrong.
Many of my Qatari personal training clients, for example, genuinely believed that their country could do no wrong. Criticism was not taken kindly - they saw it as expats being rude and ungrateful for the opportunities their country had given us.
When I lived in Qatar I was always very careful not to express any criticism, because on the few occasions I did - albeit as diplomatically as I could - I would be told, “if you don’t like it, leave our country, we don’t want you here.” As a freelance journalist there, from the very start of my professional writing career in 2010, editors in Doha would tell me not to touch local social issues as it would be viewed by the state as criticism and get the publication in trouble, and hence my remit was fashion, fitness, beauty, and luxury lifestyle.
From an Islamic standpoint, I believe that criticism of Qatar’s human rights practices is both valid and necessary, but it should not just purely be linked to the World Cup. In an authenticated hadith (saying) of Prophet Muhammed peace be upon him, he said:
“Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith.” (Saheeh Muslim)
And so as a Muslim, when Qatar claims it lives by Islamic values, it is then my Islamic duty to speak about these human rights injustices.
While we all debate and argue with each other about this year’s World Cup, I ask myself, what about the subjects of the human rights abuses themselves. When the World Cup is over, what happens beyond that? Do we all move onto the next thing? What happens next to the victims of these human rights injustices once the international spotlight is removed?
Will there be a crackdown on the queer community in Qatar? Or will it be a turning point? Will this give the Qatari state that final push to really abolish the kafala system like they promised, (because I can tell you the kafala system still exists, there’s just been a change in terminology)? Will it start dropping guardianship rules, one by one?
The world may turn its eye away, but I will be among those who will keep my eye on Qatar. I lived there for 15 years, almost half my life, and while I may have experienced some troubling times there, I am still emotionally invested in the country and its people. I genuinely loved the culture and heritage and made many wonderful friends there. I still have contacts and friends in Qatar who are personally affected by the issues being currently raised in the media.
An injustice is an injustice - no matter who the perpetrator is. And if you stand for the human rights of one group of people, you must stand for the human rights of all.
What I’ve been writing…
Image copyright of Nadia Akingbule for gal-dem
I wrote about my experience of being raped in Qatar for gal-dem. I specifically chose gal-dem due to it being a safe space and platform for women and marginalised genders who are Black or from other ethnic minority backgrounds. I knew they would treat my story sensitively, and that they would involve me in the editing process. Read my story here.
I wrote an op-ed for Al Jazeera on the rise of red pill culture among some Muslim men and why Andrew Tate’s conversion to Islam is an issue of concern for many Muslim parents like myself. Read it here.
I was so psyched to be able to share my music recommendations last week in award-winning Arab music and culture newsletter Sa’alouni El Nas. Check it out here.
What I’ve been reading…
Upcoming author and Libyan British journalist Shahed Ezaydi shares her experience of growing up in the shadow of 9/11 and the subsequent Islamophobia for gal-dem in How growing up with Islamophobia shaped my faith.
An article in the New York Times by Vivian Nereim that is honestly the most nuanced piece I’ve read on the World Cup so far. Read Qataris bristle at what they see as double standards over their World Cup.
A first-person essay by a Qatari woman on what her life is like and how the guardianship rules affect her. An excellently written piece with lots of context that really sums up the situation well. Read Lack of women’s rights in Qatar means even the privileged like me must do as men say.
Finally, if you enjoy reading my work, do support me by purchasing a copy of my semi-autobiographical novel, Hijab and Red Lipstick, published by Hashtag Press. You can find it on Amazon, Waterstones, Blackwell’s, Book Depository and in the Hashtag Press Shop.